Work Strip

Office Games

2012-02-02T18:08:00.001-08:00

OFFICE GAMES

The idea is to score the most points. Your attempts need to be
verified by either a player or non-player. I DARE YOU - in fact, I
DOUBLE DARE YOU

ONE POINT GAGS:
Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Ignore the first five people who say "Good Morning" to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
"I just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
huskily, mmmmmm, that feels soooo good""

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
"Sorry I really prefer it this way".

In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "YAHTZEE".

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.

THREE POINT GAGS:

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all
that,cause I don't want to repeat it".

Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the
nozzle.(There must be a non-player in sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT GAGS:

At the end of a meeting, suggest that for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the National Anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch off & on 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak with as "Bob".

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you really got to go #2.

After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in,"the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for 1 hour.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, "Shut up dammit, all of you just shut up".

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my
witness, I will never go hungry again".

In a colleague's diary, write in 10:00 am; "see how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague, and ask, "do you want to
trade?"

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person, "Do you
hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk
about it".

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming your desk.

Hang a 2 foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants,
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when asked about it, answer,"not
now" and walk away.

Dr. Propostero says:

2009-11-15T11:42:00.001-08:00

Employee Appreciation

2009-05-17T07:41:00.001-07:00

Who gives a bunch of adults a Furbie in recognition for a job well done?!

Death to the Furbie! ! !

My luck it would make a comeback as a zombie...

Rivalry or good business?

2009-05-12T15:19:00.000-07:00

the coffee black drip of night

2009-03-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

late
sitting in my room
alone

4b
above me
settles in for dinner
2c gives
her daily
piano lessons
2b
stereo comes on
soft instrumental
another hard day

off in the distance
sirens wail
a baby laughs
in 4c

sleet
a murmer as if
many voices whisper
oustide the window

keys jingle
hit the carpet
big sigh
no one helps
arms full, paper bags rustle
exausted frustration
long, long day
another try
door opens

3a
love sounds
the rhythm of the ocean
the surf of
2 becoming one

cat purrs in my lap
no TV for my eyes
sightless
I settle back
and listen to
the coffee black drip
of night.

AWF, now over a month old!

2008-08-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

*Individual Policy Services...

**Automated Work flow....

Both a fun bunch of letters! (or was that too sarcastic?)

This time of the year I fondly remember canoeing at Bond.

2008-07-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

My God! It's the end of July already! We'd'a been out

to Bond at least a half a dozen times by now, swimming,

fishing, canoeing, drinking!

Seems we've been on the run a lot lately...

2008-07-28T20:40:00.001-07:00

Pulp Heroes version of Work Related

2008-07-18T04:34:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since my last post.

2008-03-04T08:30:00.000-08:00

2008-02-22T05:17:00.000-08:00

With Mandatory retirement no longer an issue special equipment had to be brought in.

"Hello, Mertle? Can you connect me with that Home Office?

I believe they're in New York City, New York!"

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-10T12:02:00.000-08:00

This week brought to you by IHOS

2008-02-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

IHOS

The International House Of Slurry

Mmm mmm! That's good old fashioned homemade slurry!

What could be better than a whole meal

blasted to a fine liquid in an industrial blender?

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Including our all new breakfast menu:
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Scrambled Eggs, Hash Browns, Bacon & Toast Slurry
French Toast & Spam Slurry

Remember the IHOS motto...
Every meal is better when sucked through a straw!

2008-02-02T20:34:00.001-08:00

Happy Groundhog's Day

2008-02-02T20:33:00.000-08:00

2008-01-23T05:34:00.000-08:00

Corporate Prostitution

2008-01-23T05:32:00.000-08:00

Partnering with big business to corner merchandising

and product placing Lucas has announced he will team up

with McDonald's for a new reality show.

TAUNTAUN WHISPERER

2008-01-13T11:42:00.001-08:00

Admiral George S. Akbar

2008-01-13T11:27:00.001-08:00

Be seated…

I want you to remember that no bastard ever blew up a Death Star by dying for his planet. He did it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his.

Now, the rebel alliance is a team - it lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who came up with that stuff about individuality know as much about battle as they do about the Force.

Men, all this stuff you've heard about the alliance not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Rebels traditionally love to fight. All real rebels love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion womp-rat shooter, the fastest pod racer, big league mango-ball players, the toughest Jedi. The alliance loves a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Rebels play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a Corellian who lost and laughed. That's why the Jedi have never lost, and will never lose a war... because the very thought of losing is hateful to the Jedi.

Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that "we are holding our position." We're not holding anything. Let the Imperials do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're going to go through him like poodoo through a dewback! Were not just going to shoot the bastards, were going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the cybernetics on our belly quad laser turrets. We’re going to murder those lousy Imperial bastards by the bushel.

When you have to crawl into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your tauntaun to keep your ass from freezing off: well, you'll know what to do.

Thirty years from now, when you're sitting around your moisture vaporator with your grandson on your knee and he asks you, "What did you do in the great War of the Stars," you won't have to say, "Well... I shoveled sand on Tatooine."

Introducing...

2008-01-04T19:19:00.000-08:00

ProMagnon Man, the Cubicle Dweller, or Cube Dweller to the laymen out there. (see bottom of blog for further details.)

2008-01-04T19:18:00.000-08:00

And without further delay, here is this week's strip, enjoy...

And now

2007-12-29T22:01:00.001-08:00

a word from our sponsor....

Alcohol, it's what's for supper!

2007-12-23T22:32:00.000-08:00

Brought to you by Crazy Vyacheslav.

"You buy my fish or I cut you!"

2007-12-22T15:52:00.001-08:00

Brought to you by the Norway Tourism Council.

"Ve're not as bat as you've hert!"